"We don’t even have a river or bay in Night Vale! There would never be a boat to necessitate a drawbridge!"
Steve Carlsberg || 45 || FC: Stephen Colbert || OPEN
"Steve. Carlsberg. With his dry scones and dry humor. He’s a very, very dry person. We don’t like Steve Carlsberg because he’s a huge jerk. Always putting a damper on everyone’s day because he doesn’t think any of our ideas are good enough for him. You might be winning over the hearts of some people with your baked goods and kittens dressed up like movie characters, but not mine. Not again, Steve. Not. Again.
What do I know about Steve Carlsberg you ask? I know that he likes to point out the flaws in everything, has a bitter attitude, and is a party pooper. He thinks he’s so logical. I mean, why can’t we have a drawbridge even though we don’t have water or a boat. Why do people have paper if pens are banned? Because we can, Steve. Because we can.”